ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
