Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
A+ Viking dick
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
