I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
