remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
