Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
