im about as happy as oj after his trial
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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