Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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