talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
