Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
