I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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