You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
