my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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