So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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