Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
