Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
