well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
