conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
