Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
