yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Welp...herpes.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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