Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
