Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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