Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
