I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
