I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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