ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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