is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
