YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
