is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
BRING THE BAGELS
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
