I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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