Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
