oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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