i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
it hurts more in the daytime
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
