Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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