The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
is that a dick in a sweater?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
