i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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