i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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