I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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