just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
