I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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