in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
