he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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