I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
