So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
