I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
