Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
