You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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