I heard we made out
someone get that fucking seahorse.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Randomize
