these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
