Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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