Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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