Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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