so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
