You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
