when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
