We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
His nipple licking is glorious
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